1 Samuel 3:10 The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”
I love this verse for it illustrates a humble servant heart in Samuel. However, the truth is Samuel would never have uttered these words had it not been for Eli. The Lord called out to Samuel three times before verse 10, and each time Samuel did not recognize his voice. It says in verse 7 that Samuel did not yet know the Lord. Each time the Lord called out to Samuel, he went to Eli, thinking it was Eli calling him. Finally Eli realized what was happening and helped Samuel by telling him how to respond to the Lord. He was teaching him, mentoring him, giving him advice to follow. Samuel did as instructed by Eli and responded to the Lord. From that moment on, Samuel knew God, and knew his voice.
Samuel was anointed, set apart for God from before his birth when Hannah, his mother, promised to give him to God if God would allow her to conceive. So he spent his life as a chosen one for God. And yet, even though he was anointed, he needed guidance, direction, and teaching from the elders in his life. Understanding this placed a conviction on my heart. I know that God has anointed me with a ministry, but that does not mean that I don’t need instruction and advice from those who have gone before me. How foolish it would be for me to ignore that aspect of Christian fellowship!
Honestly, if I had a mentor right now, I would ask them what they do during the waiting. How do they handle the uncertainty of the plan that is ever so slowly unfolding before them? I wonder how God can take someone like me, with so little knowledge, revelation, or understanding, and give me a ministry. I need an Eli in my life, teaching me how to hear and respond to God’s voice.
Day 82 and I am tired. My job takes a lot out of me, and I just don’t sleep well. There is so much up in the air in my life and although I am normally very good at remaining in joy, sometimes I am too exhausted and I succumb to the weariness. This evening was one of those times. As a server, I am forced to be cordial, happy, and keep a smile on my face. On days like today it is all I can do to force a smile and a kind word. It exhausts me to fake it because I’m not used to doing that. It normally comes naturally.
So, no new foods to talk about. I am going to make some golden milk and hope it helps to combat the ache in my legs and feet from a long shift at the restaurant. And maybe some worship music to uplift me as I wait. And wait. And wait.
Day 82 licking my wounds and praying for sleep.