I was sitting at my computer reflecting on my day and I reached into the candy bowl without thinking and unwrapped this little gem- a candy cane kiss, which happens to be a favorite of mine. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until it was in my hand, headed for my mouth. Thankfully, there was no kiss of death, and I stopped before I ate that delicious piece of imitation food. It got me thinking about how many times a day I did something similar without even realizing it. The number must be fairly high, or else I wouldn’t have jumped up to 221 lbs, which is where I was when I weighed myself yesterday. That’s right – 221. I don’t even have a sarcastic comment for that because the truth is, it isn’t funny. Last year, when I began clean eating, I was at 230 lbs. After 2 months I was down to 190, but I couldn’t maintain the lifestyle without a plan. Now that I have gained most of that weight back, I am approaching this 90 day fast with a much different attitude, a plan, and a heart that is longing for more of Jesus.
Now, about Day 2. It was not a day of grand success in the food department, but I will say my resolve got a little stronger. Breakfast was fine, I had oatmeal again, as well as green tea with honey. Lunch, however, is a different story. The perfect stir fry I made yesterday morphed over night into a soggy, mushy mess. I was so disappointed and the chicken/cheese/rice casserole was staring me in the face as I held my ruined lunch. I refrained from the leftover casserole and had some celery and PB instead. Not exciting, but it kept my hunger at bay while I figured out what to eat the rest of the day. I decided on a green smoothie to drink on my way to work. And for Dinner I had salad. Oh, and I weighed myself this morning and I was at 218. Gotta love the first week when you lose all the water weight.
Like I said, not an exciting day with food, but I was proud of myself for not caving in and just eating the easy and oh-so-yummy left over casserole.
On the cup that I use for my smoothies is the scripture Philippians 4:13. We are all familiar with it, but I like the way it is written. It says, “I can do all things through Christ”, and it stops there. I can do all things through Christ… it makes me really think about Christ and focus on Him, not on myself. It isn’t about Him giving me strength. When I read the verse that way, it is solely about Christ, not what He can give me. I don’t know why that really hit me today. Maybe because I know that on my own, I do not have the will power or strength to follow through with this fast, I need to solely focus on Christ. He can carry me through this, not anything I can do.
This was a good reminder for me today. I need to keep my focus on Jesus. He is the reason I began this fast and He is the only one who will carry me through.
How is your focus today? Are you focused on Jesus or are you focused on what He can do for you or give to you?